Well to blog more really.. I have been far to busy.

Click the pix to see more..

www.flickr.com Documentally's SXSW photoset

Tags: film, sxsw, texas, austin

I have been blogged a few times this year but it was really great to wake up to this blog post in the Guardian.

I met Jemima Kiss last night at a Seesmic meet up in Austin, Texas. I thought she was a really nice person..

Nicer now..


Leave a comment if you have the inclination and you never know.. i may get interviewed again.

Tags: podcast, new media, Ournaminside.com, documentally, photography, Jemima Kiss, guardian, bloggng

Tags: sxsw, texas, USA

This place is massive.. Sorry to state the obvious but on flying in on the approach in it looked like we would never find the landing strip and would have to put down in one of the ample parking lots that seem to adorn the county sized shopping complex's sprawled beneath us.

It was dark and everywhere was built upon.. I had expected a little but of desert and perhaps the odd nodding donkey but no such luck.

Oh and how cool is this..?

Thanks to the wonders of blogging and the fact there are people that do actually read this, Bill a podcasting friend from the Florida Soap Box and also the Progressive Podcast Network (PPN) managed to hook up with me for a brief hello at Texas airport where we were getting picked up by our friend Kity Kity aka Susan.

For each of us it is the first time we had met a member of the PPN in the flesh and a great welcome for me to see a familiar face and hear a voice I have listened to for ages.

Myself and Phil Campbell are the guests of Kity Kity in Wylie, Texas before we head down to the interactive extravaganza that is South By South West (SXSW) in Austin, Texas, about 3-4 hours south of here.

Make sure you check out Bills blog at http://filthandthefury.blogspot.com
You can also follow/add bill on Twitter

He is a really decent guy and I hope we can grab a beer together soon!

So.. In amongst making content and recovering from the trip we are slowly getting excited for the week to come..

We have some cool apps on the horizon thanks to Phil's magic hands.. Watch this space!

It's been a long ten days since the Landy incident, and in the mean time I have been too-ing and fro-ing with the insurance companies mainly just trying to get a straight answer out of them.

Getting myself to jobs has been a bit of a pain in the ass what with living in a village and having to either borrow cars, cadge lifts or use public transport..

That is until now..

Today I set out in search of a cheep car only to return with a not so cheap motorbike.

I have always had motorbikes of one type or another but this is my first BMW.

For those that are really interested it is a BMW F650GS.. I bought it with the money I have put aside for the tax man in the hope that my insurance company will reimburse me for my Land Rover. It's a gamble I know, but I really need transport now so I can get on with my photographic assignments.

The F650GS's engine has won the Dakar Rally at least twice and with a listed fuel consumption of 74.3 miles per gallon it is one of the most environmentally friendly motorbikes of it's size on the road. I calculated that if I can keep the bike and myself in one piece for two years, the money I would have saved on fuel compared to driving the Land Rover would cover the cost of the bike.

So why a motorbike..?

Free parking.
No congestion charge to pay in London.
Easy to negotiate traffic jams.
Cheep road tax and insurance.
Low fuel consumption.
Good on and off road.
Hold their value.
Fun to drive.

On the downside there is the weather issue.. But when needed I have waterproofs and there is alway a car not to far away to borrow should I need to take the dog to the vet etc etc.. Yes I miss the versatility of having a truck that I can throw all kinds of crap in and not worry about a muddy dog etc.. But for all the other times where I am trundling along in a 5 mile tailback I would much rather be on a bike.. Lets face it, our roads in the UK are getting busier and busier, this is the ultimate congestion beater.

That said.. I will be realistic and see how the next few months go before I decide if this is just going to be a spring/summer thing. This bike with it's ABS and it's heated grips should do me well in all seasons. We will just have to see what the British summer decides to throw at us.

Tags: BMW, motorbike, Transport, F650GS, dakar, Land Rover

What Can I say.. Other than Thank YouI

There is nothing quite like getting post that isn't a bill.. I love unexpected mail and this box came out of the blue and has really brightened my day.

You can see more about my recent crash by clicking HERE ..HERE and HERE

Or you can click these links below.. If the links aren't working come back in a bit as the servers are being refreshed..

http://www.ourmaninside.com/blog/files/84acdca4295a8c386c63fbcf7954a1c2-77.php

http://www.ourmaninside.com/blog/files/0188b4e27e4482e04cf38d5effcd1afa-78.php

http://www.ourmaninside.com/blog/files/dbf66fea33e89f3defea42ce486c88e5-79.php

Thanks again to Summersault Communications

Tags: post, summersault, gift, beer, organic, crash, Land Rover

Desperate times call for desperate measures and whilst thinking about how I can regain my freedom and leave the village I remembered a little Vespa wannabe I had hidden under a pile of junk in the garage.

I am not normally a winter rider, I don't have the electrically heated kit that is normally required to survive our extreme temperatures. I don't like falling off on the ice either.. especially after the Landy incident.

Still, i do have a fat no claims bonus on a motorbike having never claimed and the little 125cc LML Star Delux does do the length of the country on a cup of fuel.. so why not. If it weren't for the ice this week I would have about 9 years no claimes on a car too.

I can insure tax and mot the bike for the same price as a set of Land Rover seat covers. So I have. And for the moment I have limited freedom and the means to get out of the village and at least into the nearest two towns without resulting to our sporadic and expensive public transport.

I am still going to need a car for those long distance kit lugging journeys but having a burn on the little bike today has made me yearn for another 'practical' bike that I can use for work.



I would also like to add a big thank You to the kind folks that have donated to the Land Rover fund. I can't tell you how cheeky i feel having this on my site. It wasn't my initial idea and I was asked from more than one person to set it up. I also won't be a hypocrite and say i don't appreciate the idea.. I do.

Insurance companies are notorious at being difficult and mine is no exception. After over 14 phone calls i have found the right person to talk to, only then to be told my claim has had to be re-started due to an internal error. It will be a while before I see this resolved and in the meantime I really need to be mobile. At the very least so that I can work.

You never know, Land Rover may still get wind of my appreciation and sponsor me to produce more content.

Tags: Land Rover, landrover, crash, accident, vespa, Scooter

parody |ˈparədi|
noun ( pl. -dies)
an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect.

I am loving the seesmic films that have sprouted after yesterdays crash.. It is linked here if you havn't seen it.

Here are a couple of the parody's posted so far..





There has also been talk of a Land Rover Fund and whilst I am sat at my Grand Mothers (an 83 year old Italian woman who makes killer pizza named Ofelia) she has seen a couple of people talking of a collection so I can get another sensible vehicle. This is amazing to her and she is more than a little shocked that a website made up of people I mostly haven't met are considering helping me in acquiring a new car..!

I said they were joking but she said "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" or words to that effect. She actually said, "Never look in a horses mouth", but i know what she means..

So i am not.. Perhaps I am being cheeky by posting this chip-in link here.. but hey-ho.. I did just get a repair quote for £6780.. and that pretty much means my Land Rover is a write off.. I can't ever imagine getting another in the same condition for what i paid for this one.. Not unless someone out there knows the folks at Land Rover and they want to use my original post for marketing..

I do feel like it saved my life.. But whether i could ever get another.. who knows..

Tags: Land Rover, landrover, crash, chip-in

Whilst i wait for a lift to the hospital.. Here is a record of what happened today..

Tags: Land Rover, landrover, crash

Liala Payne was also the Mother of my Brother Daniel and the Daughter of my Italian Grandmother, Ofelia.

I guess I am writing it down to clear my head. Perhaps it will be cathartic. Maybe I am finding any opportunity to distract myself.

At 2:20am as we lay exhausted in our beds after many many bedside hours, she was breathing out her last breath.

She lay in a hospital in the center of England. She did not die alone. By her side, Nigel, her partner of 12 years who had shown a superhuman strength in staying with her continuously over the last week.

Although suffering many different ailments it was pneumonia that was taking her away from us. The first hint i had got that she was not well was almost two months ago on the morning of her 57th birthday. I had arrived with presents and a card and could see she was not well.

She never complained and avoided doctors when she could. As a result, a bruise she suffered in a fall had gotten infected and started to spread inside her chest. The doctor we called didn't see it and when we finally persuaded her to go into hospital it had already taken hold.

It grew swiftly and silently until only the most powerful of antibiotics could slow it down. By this time it was too late.

There were many goodbyes. But as each doctor gave us a different prognosis, there were days where we still thought she would pull through. On Christmas Eve we kept to European tradition and she opened her presents in a public ward.

At 1am Christmas morning my first gift was a call from the hospital informing me of an imminent procedure that was about to take place that she may not survive through. Later that day she was moved into a room so she could 'have more privacy'. For me that was the point I knew, but did not want to believe.

The day before yesterday we were told in great detail that she would not last the night. She did.

She was unconscious for most of the following day and every moment a breath passed we were certain it was her last. Both me and my Brother both found the counting of breaths unbearable. Waiting for a moment we never wanted to arrive. From dread to fear and back again, all the time our hearts pounding, aching and on the verge of beating right out of our chests.

We needed sleep and left our sleeping mother lifting and falling behind her oxygen mask.

We got to mine and the phone rang saying that my Mother had opened her eyes. The hour drive back was the worst drive of my life. We did not know what to think.

I am so very glad we got there when we did. My mother had made one of those miraculous and albeit brief recoveries you hear about and we managed more goodbyes and words which had to be said. We had been given another chance to tell her how much we loved her and through movements and hand clasps, She too got the chance to communicate. It was a last momentary reprieve from the edge of death.

Exhausted and deeply saddened by the final realisation we were saying goodbye for the very last time, we choose our words carefully. We gazed into her eyes and she gazed back until this last miraculous bout of awareness seemed to flutter and wane. This was the point me and Daniel decided she was waiting for us to leave so she could let go.

I have always thought mourning to be the selfish act of someone who could not let go. Someone who found it hard dealing with loss and bereavement. I am thinking now it is more natural than that. An inbuilt mechanism to stop your heart from exploding with grief and pain.

I am mourning now and I imagine a part of me always will. It will be a smaller part than the one that remembers her love and cherishes the memory of every moment spent in her company.

She's my Mum. I owe her my life. I hope I made her proud. I hope I earn her gift.. my life.


(There is a small site now up at www.Liala.co.uk)

Tags: Liala, Payne

This blog entry was going to be something completely different to the one it is now.

I was a little uncertain as to how 'transparent' a blog should should be and upon reading out all the intricacies of these last few days I then went on to delete all but the title. This is after all a blog connected to my business and not purely about personal issues.

Never-the-less I aim to be frank and candid about what goes on 'out of hours' as regarding my photography.. there is no such time.

This last couple of weeks and in particular these last few days I have withdrawn myself a little from the 'new media' world. Not so much on the absorbing of it all but more so on the content creation side of things.

I wanted to focus a little more time on my family, particularly my Mother and my Grandmother who have both needed serious medical attention within days of each other on both of their birthdays. Maybe it's a Scorpio thing?

My Grandmother is 84 and occasionally gets health issues you would expect at that age. But my mother is only 57 and has been hit the hardest having been rushed into hospital and giving me a fresh new glance into our National Health service.

I have been shocked and amazed at how certain moments in these last few days have played out. At one point I was being told by a Doctor over the phone exactly how I should give my Grandmother an enema for her birthday. It was only when I commented on what a great tabloid story this would make that he decided to drive over and treat her himself.

Then mid insertion he muttered under his breath how "In the good old days, people used to care for their family". She is a strong proudly independent woman who back in the war was a partisan in the Alps smuggling secret messages cross german lines in a bicycle pump. I think the least she deserved is a little dignity and respect. I put his flippant comment down to stress.

This whole time she was being treated I was also worrying about my mother 15 miles away ill at home and who only hours later was rushed into her local hospital in Rugby with stomach complications and other issues brought on by a couple of nasty falls she failed to tell anyone about. She is not a complainer and often keeps her ailments to herself.

Rugby's St Cross is a really friendly place full of kind and attentive nurses who seem to understand that it is the care that cures as much as the medicines.

Still as with many other places in the UK what they have in personal attentiveness they lack in technology and equipment and before long my semi-concious drip laden Mother was moved to the dreaded Walsgrave Hospital in Coventry. I say dreaded as although new, I find it difficult to erase the sad and disturbing memories of previous visits to the place.

Walsgrave (or University Hospital as it is now called) is now a brand new state of the art city of the dead and dying. So shiny you can almost see the superbugs sitting proud of the surfaces.

Under some kind of new system implemented since the last time I had to visit a hospital, from the moment you can see the building to the moment you leave, you feel you are inside of some kind of privatized corporation. Not the healing, caring centre it should be.

The car parks are vast, extortionately priced to raise millions a year and due to a non staggered visiting system always full. Up until recently even disabled people had to pay for parking. (The nurses still do, although after a lengthy and hap hazard process I think they can get a refund.) I would not be surprised if we soon see parking meters on the ambulance bays.

You can't even phone your sick relative. You are patched through to a receptionist on something called 'patientline' and the message is passed on sometime later that day. Perhaps 'Be Patient Line' would suit better.

If during their miserable stay they would like to distract themselves from the pain the supplied pay-as-you-go TV on a hinge is there to suck you of all your benefits till you wish you were able to go private. Is that the governments plan, privatize every non-essential yet comfortable amenity till it drives the population elsewhere.

If anything is important it should be access, attention and comfort.

Yesterday the ward my Mother was in had some king of lockdown due to a 'bug' going round. Only one person was allowed to visit for one hour in 24. I understand the reasoning behind quarantining but sometimes visiting is the only way we get any information about our loved ones. If you phone you are told that due to patient confidentiality they cannot tell you anything and when you do get close to someone that may have a clue, they lie.

Today I asked how my Mum's CT scan had gone, knowing too well it had been cancelled. The nurse told me "Fine, we are just waiting for the results." I thought she couldn't possible be lying so I re-checked into my Mum. No. She is not fully with it but she said she would remember having a CT scan.

I went back to the nurse and at first she looked put out that I wanted her to double check. Then she looked embarrassed like she had been caught out. The CT scan had been bumped for the second time. All I wanted to know was that my Mum was getting the care she needed to ensure all the details of her illness are available to those who can help.

I have entrusted that woman with my Mothers life. Should I not have a little more confidence in her.

Today I found my Mother had been moved again. Again, no one had told me and when I found her, after hundreds of yards of codrridors she was tucked away in the corner of a ward staring at a blank wall looking scared.

While sitting with her tonight, trying to cheer her up for my alloted hour, she broke my heart. Normally too week to move, her arm came out from under the sheet and she took my hand. Then looking up at me my Mother said "Christian I am afraid.. I am afraid to die. I have been put in here and forgotten."

I was both gutted and livid. Why is my mother feeling this way? She shouldn't be scared. Who is there to reassure? Is it not the same people that are there to care?

We all get ill and we are all going to die. I just wish with all this technology at our disposal the suffering could be somewhat alleviated.

Sorry, there is no conclusion to this rant, this blog post. This is just the story so far.

Tags: family, health, care, illness, hospital

This time last week I was still recovering from sleep deprivation and the remnants of the hangover left over from the day before.

The hangover was a souvenir from 'up North' and the great night put on by Phil Campbell entitled N0shIT (Nosh-It).

This social media event was far more social than media and I had no issue with that as I got to totally exercise my Epicurean desires.


Great food great wine and great company. All of the people I met at N0shIT I already knew digitally from Twitter

Phil Campbell - Nick Butler - Jason Jarrett - Craig Marston - Rupert Howe

You would think that going to an 'in the flesh' social gathering would take a bit of the magic away from peoples content.. You get to see the reality behind the avatars, the hidden truths behind the great content and perhaps this can be slightly disappointing..

Maybe on bigger events yes, but on this occasion I can safely say all of these guys are so multi faceted, what you see in the flesh is just another dimension to a really deep and creative bunch.

They say alcohol brings out the worst in people.. At N0shIT though it just brought out some hillarious interaction in the most unexpected of flavours.

If there were any uncomfortable moments shared with these people I was only just getting to know, I don't remember any..
But then, I am famous for not remembering most things after a certain cut off point in any night on the wine.

I remember being really hungry and then loads of great food being placed in front of me by Dimitri of Mykonos then it kept on coming... Just like the wine.

I have to thank Rupert for jogging my memory with THIS.. I am sure he has been kind in the edit.

Me and Rupert ended up sharing one of the complimentary doubles that Phil had kindly supplied and my last memory of the night is of Rupert saying "Wow.. you have the video of David Icke on Wogan". Then he passed out.

Any way, I am inspired. Before and after the drinking we had made time for inspirational talk and the bouncing of ideas off one another and all the other times, we had fun.


Above all this, solid connections were made and the avatars that adorn the various web 2.0 apps we saturate ourselves in now have a living, breathing, flesh and blood person behind them.

I feel like I work with these people everyday.. Whether it be a clients project or my own meandering adventure in new media, the tweets, pm's and seesmic'd moments pop into my perspective like a call across the office.

Working at home has never been more sociable.

It's great to be able to choose your workmates from the millions of creative minds floating around out there... And I do so everyday with a click of a 'follow' or an 'add me' button. And if you want a bit of privacy from someone's mutterings.. It's as easy as closing a door.

This in many ways was a works night out with a few of the people I share my day with. There are a handful of others I have already met and a load more I can't wait to meet on another night like this.

Cheers Phil's for the great night.. After this I am inspired to create my own meeting of minds.. Perhaps a weekend somewhere even more out the way.. if people can spare the time..

Keep your eye on www.GeekRetreat.info to see if this happens.

Tags: social networking, twitter, Wine, food, n0shIT

I was still the new boy at my local regional paper in Northamptonshire. I had been head hunted after three months at a weekly paper after one of the photographers saw me jumping across the roofs of canal boats trying to get a clear shot of actor David Suchet.

As I was the only person at the paper aware I had absolutely no qualifications in photography at all, I was still trying to prove my worth.

Always short staffed and short on equipment, the paper had sent all the available photographers down to Northampton's famous old market square to cover a walkabout by the then Ex-Priminister Margaret Thatcher.

With an old battered Canon digital and two lenses, I knew my options for a decent view were limited and set about looking for a spot to shoot from. Walking around the market I spoke to a few of the stall holders and found out that a couple had been visited that morning by sniffer dogs. I figured it was a safe bet they were scouting out her route and told another photographer I was going to get a better view from a window over looking the square.

He seemed pleased at this idea as everyone of us was out to get their picture in the paper and he seemed to think that with me stuck up and out of the way, it would leave him with the best shots.

It was all about who's picture got in and with a brief as wide as 'Show the chaos', it was anybody's day.

Of all the windows on the square, I chose the second floor of a pub, 'The Moon On the Square' or something. Well I figured it could be a long wait so why not grab a beer in the meantime.

I had a comfy chair and a half opened window. I had chosen the only lens I could use at that distance which was a 70-200mm f2.8.

So, there I was, beer in one hand and camera in the other with a view over the whole square. I won't go into all the parallels I was thinking about, that revolved around a similar window with a view in a certain book depository. But yes.. I did feel a little like I imagine a sniper would.. Waiting for his 'mark'.

Just as i was thinking if the police had actually thought about checking upper windows a black Jag pulled up on the edge of the square and out of nowhere press, TV, close protection units and members of the public swamped it.

As if the crowd were one swirling beast it slowly swayed and morphed it's way across the square on more of a float-about than a walkabout.

My camera was to my eye and still i could see no old lady with big hair. Just suits and cameras, ear pieces and furry microphones.

Then, as they had moved across and in front of me I saw her. Just a flash of face in the tiniest of breaks in the crowd.

And I shot.

Just the one shot, but I felt that excited rush when you know you have caught something close to what you were after.

Looking at the back of the camera I had what looked like a little face in a crowd. Not really the award winning photo I had in my minds eye, but with a shrug and a gulping down of the last of my beer I decided it would have to do and headed out into the street.

Down the stairs, out of the front door and straight into the mass of people rolling as one across the square. The people were packed so tight I could not even raise my camera.

I decided to duck out, squeezing myself through the throng and behind the counter of a vegetable stall. The people who owned it were the same that I had spoke to earlier.

Just then a really strange thing happened. Appearing right in front of me, like a little old lady after pound of mixed veg, was a smiling Margaret Thatcher holding her handbag and a bunch of flowers. She looked as if she were about to ask me a question. Then she clocked my camera and held out her hand. I took it, and as I shook I looked into her eyes. She had a grip built up by years of greetings and a million hello's.. and a look in her eyes that... Well I won't go into it here suffice to say it's a look i have seen in the eyes of other former world leaders..

Leaving me momentarily stunned she moved on to have a staged chat with the real owners of a store and I took a couple of photos that looked as if she were hassling some shopper oblivious to her presence and just trying to grab a bargain amidst the chaos.

Then magically she was gone as quick as she had arrived leaving everyone to carry on as normal. I headed back to the paper to put my pix in as no doubt the afternoon was calling with it's cheque presentations and other undisguised anticlimaxes.

The next day I arrived at work to see the photo department standing round the paper. Looking over shoulders to see the cover I saw my photograph unashamedly pasted across the front page. I couldn't help to smile the kind of smile you know would upset others. But i did.. and it did, just as the editor walked by and slapped my shoulder. "Good work" he said. That was a lot from him, and the others new it.

I felt i had arrived.

Tags: photography, new media, news, thatcher, prime minister, journalism

Did you take the time to focus on and make your way through the epic article in Time magazine entitled 'Help! I have lost my focus..' ?

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/printout/0,8816,1147199,00.html

I would have to admit to being a multitasking gadget user but although I manage to have numerous projects running side by side, i occasionally feel like shouting STOP! Then turn everything off and make a basic list of what really needs to be done now and what can wait a day or two.

I use my mac for my work and a thousand apps guide me through the day of information overload like a speedboat through info-burg littered seas.

I have stopped watching TV news or buying the paper as I figure a feed reader can give me all the feeds I need and more. And why not? Surely this saves me the walk to the shop and the money to boot.

The down side is that I feel I am being force fed as for some OCD-like reason I think I actually have to skim read every new article indicated by a little red number icon in my dock.

I must admit though, i probably read more headlines and less content as i skim read through far too many subscribed feeds.

I am a hoarder by nature so things like feed readers soon get overloaded and a day without looking at them means next time a good hour or so is needed as i religiously scan through every new feed.

I have been a little remorseless in my info trimming recently with about 10 twitter contacts chopped from my follow list and 30 or so feeds deleted. Do i really need five different Apple gossip feeds? I could probbly trim a few more off come to think of it.

Pruning links, contacts and feeds can feel quite liberating, providing you can get over the initial uncertainty of "Will i miss something if I don't read the next blog post?"

Meeting with a couple of Freegans recently has really made me harder on all my time wasting distractions. They helped me remember a few finer philosophical points and enabled me to ask myself.. "Does it really matter?.. In the grand scheme of things?" Most of the time not..

Then there is a good friend who's philosophy is very un-freegan but also helpful as he always prioritises his actions in the order of those that will earn him money. Needless to say, he doesn't eat much.

Right now I should be editing a podcast and I had decided to do that over finish up on filing some photos from Glastonbuy that have cluttered my desktop since 2004!

Yup.. I really think i put the PRO in procrastination. But I am getting better... I think.